How to be influential

9 Feb 12
Winning friends and influencing people is more vital than ever in today’s challenging and uncertain work environment. Fiona Dent explains how to go on the charm offensive to get people to co-operate and listen to your ideas
By Fiona Dent | 1 February 2012

Winning friends and influencing people is more vital than ever in today’s challenging and uncertain work environment. Fiona Dent explains how to go on the charm offensive to get people to co-operate and listen to your ideas

Illustration: Mark Smith


Using your influence positively, liaising with others and getting things done through other people are all critical for your success in working life today. But being influential demands much more than simply knowing your stuff and being an expert in your area. Influencing is both a leadership and relationship skill. 

Many professional people in both the public and private sectors fail to recognise the subtlety required to be regarded as a good influencer. I still meet people who do not understand the interpersonal, social and emotional elements of this vital skill. Using expertise, authority and power can make you seem to be influential but are you influencing or simply telling?

The public sector, like all other business sectors, involves people who have to influence both within their professional area and, increasingly, outside their particular work group. This can be across departments and organisations, with customers, suppliers and other staff. It also involves having to influence both vertically and horizontally – people who are senior to you as well as junior staff and peers.

This means that more and more of us have to feel comfortable about influencing without the benefit of position, power and hierarchy. We need to depend on our own ability and skill to influence and persuade others. Below are ten practical tips to help develop your influencing credibility, capability and reputation  – and contribute to getting the results you want.

1. Be patient
Influencing is a process, not an event or a one-off occurrence.  Most discussions take place over a period of time, involve multiple stakeholders and are affected by our current experience of the people concerned. The impression they have had of us in previous conversations and our ability to enter into a meaningful dialogue with them are essential to achieving a successful outcome.  

2. Active listening
It is easy to fall into the trap of simply advocating your own views and ideas on any issue
you are seeking to influence – but it is much better to gather intelligence about the other stakeholders’ perspective. Listening to what they have to say gives you the opportunity to consider their perspectives and decide how best to incorporate this knowledge and information into the issue.

3.  Flexibility
You need to be able to adapt to others’ ideas. Lack of flexibility is one of the fatal traps that influencers can fall into. By definition, influencing usually means you have a point of view about a topic and your aim is to get others to buy into this view. But they will have their own opinions on the subject – so it is important to go into any discussion with the mindset that you might have to flex your ideas and approach to achieve a mutually acceptable outcome. 

4. Build, link and develop ideas together
This is one way of demonstrating your flexibility.  By listening to others’ ideas and identifying possible connections to your own – or even adopting new ideas that support your goals and perspective – you can link, build and develop together. The best way of doing this is to mention the person’s name to show them that you are building and linking with them. For example: ‘I like John’s idea and I’d like to build on it by…’. 

5. Show your understanding
It is important to establish common ground. This can also be regarded as the second stage to building and linking. Once you have made the link, you will need to demonstrate authenticity by regularly asking the other parties what their view is about things so far. By showing you are aware of and appreciate  their contribution – and that you are willing to adapt if necessary in support of the bigger goal – you are demonstrating your understanding. 

6. Check that understanding
Having reached an appreciation of others’ point of view, you need to keep it. Check that people are still with you – that they are moving along with you, and roughly in the same direction. Summarising at regular points through the process – either verbally or in writing – will help ensure you are all aligned and, if not, will highlight any differing views.  This will give you time to work through any problems that emerge.  

7. Express yourself fluently
Influencing involves both hard and soft skills. It is about emotion as well as facts. When you are involved in any influencing discussion, simply expressing the facts, data and research about a subject is not enough. You also have to show your feelings and emotions through your non-verbal behaviour and body language. This demonstrates your credibility, authenticity and genuine understanding of others’ perspective.

8. Be enthusiastic
Showing energy and enthusiasm about the issue or topic is one way of expressing yourself fluently.  Without this, how can you expect others to feel energised about your ideas and get on board with them and you?

9. Remember the unextinguished fire
When you are influencing it is important to ensure that you are bringing everyone along with you – or at least recognising those who are not aligned and why. If you are not aware, they will be like the smouldering ember remaining in the grate and could reignite doubts in others. Checking understanding regularly will help to avoid this happening.

10. Above all, plan and prepare
Lack of planning and preparation is probably the most frequently cited reason for influencing failure. And the usual excuse is time.  My question is: do you have time not to plan and prepare? Think about who is involved, all the stakeholders, what’s in it for them, how will you influence them, what style, skills and processes will you use? 

Influencing isn’t rocket science but neither is it easy. In addition to knowing your topic, it’s largely about recognising the importance of using soft skills to get hard results.

Fiona Dent is director of executive education at Ashridge Business School where she contributes to a range of programmes to develop leadership, influencing and personal skills. She is co-author with Mike Brent of
The leaders’ guide to influence: how to use soft skills to get hard results, published by FT Prentice Hall in 2010

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