Hoggart sees the lighter side of politics

5 Jul 11
Political pundit Simon Hoggart kicked off CIPFA's annual conference last night with a humorous account of the state of UK politics, branding most politicians 'bonkers' and insisting that every party was in 'a considerable pickle'.
By Lucy Phillips | 6 July 2011

Political pundit Simon Hoggart kicked off CIPFA's annual conference last night with a humorous account of the state of UK politics, branding most politicians ‘bonkers’ and insisting that every party was in ‘a considerable pickle’.

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The Guardian sketch writer caused much applause and laughter in his light-hearted fringe lecture on the opening night of the conference in Birmingham. Having begun with a tongue-in-cheek remark that he knew ‘almost nothing’ about the state of British politics and the state of the public finances, a series of comic revelations soon flowed.

He described how the Liberal Democrats were in the worst position of all the parties, taking all the blame for the cuts and trapped in the coalition.     

Hoggart said: ‘The crass thing Nick Clegg did was to not get something in the coalition agreement about tuition fees. He turned from being the most popular politician to the most hated almost overnight.’

He later added: ‘The poor LibDems have lost AV while Nick Clegg’s House of Lords reform is regarded as a huge joke. It seems to me they are in a terrible, terrible position.’

As for Labour, he described how Ed Miliband was ‘cruelly known as the work experience party leader’.

He added: ‘There’s great resentment in Parliament. Most MPs voted for his brother and they are bitter that the unions put Ed in place.’

In Scotland, Hoggart said, First Minister Alex Salmond was ‘in the same pickle as everyone else… He is very popular, but the whole point of the Scottish National Party is to get Scotland out of the UK – [and] the polls show the Scots don’t want this.’ Hoggart said Salmond would need to have a ‘get-out question in the referendum – do you want more independence but not complete independence?’.

Meanwhile, Tory MPs in Westminster were ‘getting more and more cross’ about Scotland giving free care to elderly people and discounted tuition fees to almost anyone but the English.

Hoggart had earlier told the audience that there were two things they should know about Prime Minister David Cameron – ‘One is that he is vain and the other is that he’s a PR man.’

‘The PR side means he keeps making the U-turns, or J-turns as we now call them,’ he said, referring to reversals of policies on privatising forests, NHS reforms, weekly bin collections and discounts on jail terms.

He added: ‘He has taken the line that it’s a sign of great strength and courage to change your mind.’

Hoggart was later pressed further by a delegate about the change of policy on rubbish collections by Communities Secretary Eric Pickles.

He answered: ‘There seems to be no singing from the same hymn sheet. It’s very common with new governments – they think they have the levers of power and act like that and then suddenly realise it’s not just a Sir Humphrey they have to get past, and/or you have got George Osborne in the Treasury. They think of super duper ideas, leap into them and don’t realise government is about coping with numerous problems.’

He added that there was never any dispute over leadership between Cameron and Osborne – unlike between Gordon Brown and Tony Blair – because Osborne’s ‘not a man who cares about being loved’.
‘That made him a perfect chancellor,’ Hoggart added.

Hoggart ended with a quip about politicians being ‘barking, barking mad’.

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